Friday, March 17, 2006

 

Man-Eating Couch

Man-eating couch! $1200 (Leatheriticus Carnivicus)

On first appearances, this member of the sectional couch family looks harmless, but after sitting in it for less than 30 seconds, most prey finds itself lured to sleep by the incredibly comfortable cushions and soft fill. When the prey reaches a fully unconscious state, the couch will begin to remove items (loose change, keys, cameras, wallets, etc.) from the victim's pockets. Although this may sound horrible, this particular Leatheriticus Carnivicus is fully domesticated and will surrender most plunder without any fuss. Leatheriticus will definitely NOT run out into the back yard and bury your wallet, although he has successfully hidden a camera for a period of 3 months.

Leatheriticus is in excellent condition--his black leather coat is unmarred and clean.

I have to move, unfortunately, and don't have the necessary pasture land to support him anymore. He can deal with up to 5 prey at any one time due to his L-shaped nature.

Comments:
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Humourous people do not want to treat acne even if they have it!
 
I LOVE my pimples, and could never see harm befall them with your abrasive removal techniques.
 
All the comments on Acne are from a SPAM comment which has been removed.
 
Do you still have the man-eating couch? I am really interested and I can offer the couch a good home. I have a lot of cousins that I wouldn't mind getting rid of; some of them are really fat!
 
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