Jokes and Humor Online

I usually wear minimizer bras. They aren't the sexiest undergarments out there, but the support they give my girls is outstanding. Recently I have been bored with them and since there recently was a sale in my favorite department store, I decided to purchase some bargain bras.

I was attracted to the one I am wearing today because it is a deep red satin, and it's what they call a "Plunge" bra. The support comes from the underwire and from some gentle padding on the sides that also push the breasts together for a little cleavage action. However, with my DD's, this means some MAJOR cleavage action.

I look like Jessica Rabbit. This is why I usually wear a minimizer, nobody has looked me in the eye once today. Half of me is mortified and the other half of me is sashaying around like a Russ Meyer's Supervixen.

I flashed back this afternoon to an experience I had in high school and perhaps the root of my breast-shame. I was wearing a cardigan with a low V and nothing underneath except my bra and was intently reading a book at my lunchtable. I suddenly was struck with something that then went down my shirt. Stuck between my full breasts was a french fry. I looked up to see who threw it at me and saw it was Eddie L., the class prankster, and a friend of mine.

"What the hell, Eddie?" I said and he threw another french fry.

"Hey, you're a fuckin' Happy Meal!" he said, as both french fries were now sticking up from my cleavage. "All you need is the burger and coke because you got the fries and the toys!!!" I was crimson, but laughed it off because I didn't want to be uncool. I never wore a low v-neck again.

Today I am, though. And for the sake of science, I have placed the following items between my breasts here at my desk, to see if my cleavage could support them.

Letter opener, highlighter, white out, nail file, sunglasses.

Just thought I'd share.