Friday, March 10, 2006

 

I've Got Big Mountains

I usually wear minimizer bras. They aren't the sexiest undergarments out there, but the support they give my girls is outstanding. Recently I have been bored with them and since there recently was a sale in my favorite department store, I decided to purchase some bargain bras.

I was attracted to the one I am wearing today because it is a deep red satin, and it's what they call a "Plunge" bra. The support comes from the underwire and from some gentle padding on the sides that also push the breasts together for a little cleavage action. However, with my DD's, this means some MAJOR cleavage action.

I look like Jessica Rabbit. This is why I usually wear a minimizer, nobody has looked me in the eye once today. Half of me is mortified and the other half of me is sashaying around like a Russ Meyer's Supervixen.

I flashed back this afternoon to an experience I had in high school and perhaps the root of my breast-shame. I was wearing a cardigan with a low V and nothing underneath except my bra and was intently reading a book at my lunchtable. I suddenly was struck with something that then went down my shirt. Stuck between my full breasts was a french fry. I looked up to see who threw it at me and saw it was Eddie L., the class prankster, and a friend of mine.

"What the hell, Eddie?" I said and he threw another french fry.

"Hey, you're a fuckin' Happy Meal!" he said, as both french fries were now sticking up from my cleavage. "All you need is the burger and coke because you got the fries and the toys!!!" I was crimson, but laughed it off because I didn't want to be uncool. I never wore a low v-neck again.

Today I am, though. And for the sake of science, I have placed the following items between my breasts here at my desk, to see if my cleavage could support them.

Letter opener, highlighter, white out, nail file, sunglasses.

Just thought I'd share.

Comments:
Ha ha, I'm with you girl, I've been there too. When I was at college my "friends" invented the game of clevage basketball. Although, I have found the "area" usefull when I have to carry 3 bottles of beer back from the bar without a tray!
 
I always feel a bit bad about not looking girls in the eye, its hard you know! I'm a serious Russ Myer fan and I think that is by far the best way of looking at things. Do you look at my bum or are those hours on my push bike wasted?

http://judaspenrose.blogspot.com
 
LOL! Being a full breasted lady, I totally understand the embarrassment thing. I do whatever it takes to minimize these 'babies'. Heck, I've even thought of breast reduction!!

I had to comment on the Happy Meal though...that was cute! Great post. ;)

Laurie
 
Hi I´m Chriswab. Greatings from Germany,Bottrop !!
 
ROTFLMAO... been there, done that! I swear I was born with maguppies and they've been constantly growing ever since. You made my day with this post. I'm liking you to my blog.....
Thanks for the laugh.
 
Haha! Hilarious! I also liked the post about uncomfortable sex!
 
Ha! I laugh right along with the other well endowed ladies out there for I was once a 36E. I opted for the surgery route still I am large enough to still get attention, but small enough that I no longer have to special order my bras.
Very entertaining blog.
 
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Be careful with that letter opener, you might pop something and a leak of some sort could start.
 
Nice. Very funny blog, I'll have to book-mark it.
 
Never thought something so interesting and fun to look at could be a topic of deep analysis, child hood trauma ;) and utility value too..haha.
 
Yeah I'm a teenager and I've got D's almost DD's and I wear sports bras. I totally simpathize. I have one non-sport bra and I don't like wearing it much because it shows my nipples like crazy. I dread how big they'll get after I have kids.
 
Ladies, treat this as a request, as an advice, or as watever u must but Do Not, i repeat Do Not get em reduced.
thats not just a crime, thats a sin.
 
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