Jokes and Humor Online

That is absolutely hysterical! Bravo!
 

So if I put up a site detailing caucasian accidents, does that "prove" anything?
 

NWJR said...
So if I put up a site detailing caucasian accidents, does that "prove" anything?

Yeah, that we're better drivers!
 

I found this blog that blogged after seing my post and in the comments, the chinese are admitting they are bad drivers.
 

I'm Asian and I am not angered by your expose on Asian driving. Ironman might be too insecure to testify to the truth. The more we attempt to divert any racial factor in any situation, analysis, observation, the less accurate our findings will be. Describing a culture isn't racism. I applaud you.

Check my blog?
http://aldrichanderson.blogspot.com
 

My mums filipino. Worst. Driver. EVER.
I absolutely agree with you.
 

From The New Straits Times
12 November 2005

THE MALAYSIAN DEATH WISH: 144,824 summonses issued
Devinder Singh

They were advised to drive safely during the Hari Raya and Deepavali
festive period. They were warned of the dire consequences of driving
recklessly.

Two thousand traffic policemen were deployed, most of them along
accident-prone stretches of roads, as a reminder to the kamikaze
drivers that the law was watching.

And yet, a record number of road users, particularly motorcyclists,
did not make it back to their hometowns or kampungs for the festive
occasion.

The conclusion is this: For as long as there are people carrying a
death wish, no number of road safety campaigns and traffic operations
will save them.

Deputy Inspector General of Police Datuk Seri Musa Hassan said too
many road users continued to flout traffic rules as evidenced by the
record number of summonses issued: 144,824 in the last 15 days.

"No amount of enforcement can prevent accidents from happening if
motorists and motorcyclists do not change their mindset and start
obeying traffic laws," he said at the Federal police headquarters in
Bukit Aman today.

Musa presented the final accident and fatality figures for Ops Sikap
IX which ended yesterday.

The operation, which began on Oct 27, set a record for the number of
fatalities with 233 deaths recorded, surpassing the 200 deaths in Ops
Sikap VII during last year’s Hari Raya Aidilfitri and 173 during Ops
Sikap V in 2003.

Accidents on federal roads claimed 102 lives, nearly half of the
fatalities during the 15-day operation, 23 deaths on highways, 67 on
state roads, 27 on town roads and 14 on other roads.

Musa said their studies found that motorists continued to speed after
getting off highways, where the speed limit is 110kph, and on to the
80kph trunk roads.

"They find it hard to adjust to the lower speed limit resulting in
more fatal accidents on federal roads than on any other road," he
said.

There were 141 fatalities involving motorcyclists and their pillion
riders, 55 motorists or passengers, 17 pedestrians and 20 in other
vehicles.

Motorcyclists below the age of 30 accounted for 60 per cent of
fatalities.

Musa said most were under 16 and riding without a licence,
contributing to the high death toll this year.

The number of accidents also set a record of 13,462, compared with
11,609 crashes last year and 12,165 in 2003.

Selangor had the highest number of accidents for the second
consecutive year with 3,184 accidents, followed by Johor (1,713),
Perak (1,392), Kuala Lumpur (1,345) and Penang (1,269).

Musa said the increase in accidents was due to a greater number of
vehicles on the roads with an estimated 1.2 million to 1.8 million
motorists and motorcyclists having travelled during this period.

"However, the ratio of deaths for every 10,000 registered vehicles has
declined from a ratio of 7.37 in 1997 to 4.52 in 2004," the last year
for which statistics were available, he said.

"This figure is higher than the Road Safety Department’s target of
four deaths per 10,000 vehicles and the developed world’s average rate
of three deaths."

http://www.nst.com.my/
 

interesting. ;-)
 

absolutely hilarious... I have to send this to my boss
 

I was in a car with a female Japanese driver, in Japan, who missed her turn off the freeway. What did she do? Only the logical...pull over to the side then REVERSE IT all the frickin' way back to the missed exit. That incident alone proved your hypothesis true to me.
 

:) Great blog, and every race has bad drivers. Humans in general seem to have trouble with driving. It requires the instincts of a schooling fish or flocking bird rather than the individual minded human.

R2K
 

Anyone can think of Science in the otherside?

1+1 = anything but 2
 

how can you drive a chevrolet if you can't pronounce the name of the car?
 

Yes. Keyword here is --> CAN <--. Can you name one ethnicity that absolutely CAN NOT have one member be called a bad driver?

Going off your "data samples", I can also deduce that women are worse drivers since by a 3 - 2 margine when compared to men (4 - 1 if "kym" is a girl).

Now is that scientific and prove infact that women are worse drivers? Hardly.

The MOST your data set can allow is the conclusion that in YOUR circle of "friends acquaintances", asian CAN to be bad drivers. A worthless conclusion.

BTW, parking ticket does not equate "bad driving". Unless he or she cannot get the car into the space allowed, ie taking up two spaces for 1 car, it only proves that he or she dont really give 1/2 a rat's ass about parking laws.
 

i make fun of asian drivers all the damn time. of course, i am asian, so this is considered acceptable. however, i am also an excellent driver, far above the fray of the asian driver syndrome.
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

. . for every reaction . . thet're also the most careful drivers, so excuse them for going so slow. Since they learn from their mistakes they are wise, and the nicest people - genuinely. - profiling doesn't have to be just negative - to some degree it is projection - know thyself! since your piece is more observant than critical there is more journalism than bias.
 

Sometimes...I do agree....
 

Have you tried driving in the Philippines? You should try it. Be very observant how jeepney drivers navigate the narrowest of spaces while calculating fares, counting change and calling out to passengers at a minimum speed of 60kph. All these while taking note of the faces of his 16-20 passengers and who has paid their fares and those who have not. Can you handle their driving if your driving alongside them? If you can't, think about your theory again... By the way it's "Filipino". the country is "Philippines". I think, these comments were bourne out of ignorance and a "little bit" of "animosity" towards your step-family.
 

Come to Jakarta in Indonesia and you will find out that Indonesian are actually not too bad. I meant we try very hard to be a good driver, so we press the horn frequently to warn others we're approaching.
 

I think your statement is biased. You don't have enough statistics to come to a conclusion like that. You have a right to an opinion even if it may not be true. I am an Asian and been driving for 30 years. So far I have been given only 1 speeding ticket. There are bad drivers in every community.
 

Women are much better drivers than men - my girlfriend says she can roll a cigarette, put on her makeup and chat on her mobile phone while negotiating peak time highway traffic. I have two black friends who can drive, sell 4 rocks of crack and do a multiple-person drive-by shooting whilst having an argument 'wit der bitchiz' at 60mph. This isn't racist by the way, I'm albino Iraqui terrorist, with a mothercomplex and one arm (lost the other in a failed suicide attempt as I forgot to let go of the bag...) this is reality. PEOPLE are unqualified to take control of a lethal weapon, not just blacks, orientals, or any minority - or majority for that matter....
 

Have you seen the cartoon where a nerdy looking LITTLE FAMILY GUY becomes a WOLF and drives like a MANIAC once he's seated in front of the STEERING WHEEL? I think that film was made in the 40s or early 50s. I think that is still TRUE for a lot of people EVERYWHERE today in this 21st century.
 

Hey Bluelf, RELAKS lang pare!

I drove in the Philippines for at least 15 years. Never had an accident (I think) with another vehicle. The TRICK there (driving alongside jeepneys, taxis, politician cars, police, military, spoiled brats, et. al.) is to be aware where you are, stay in your lane (as much as possible) and anticipate other cars cutting in front of you. The other drivers are doing the same thing (I hope) hence, there is this unique and chaotic peaceful co-existence among drivers. (Has anybody DRIVEN in Manhattan, NY?..pretty close scenario.)

Of course ACCIDENTS do happen and they happen only when this 'rule' is broken.

By the way, I had dents in my car but all of them were self-inflicted like backing up against an unseen planter box, backing up against garbage cans because I wasn't looking and sideswiping a concrete wall while entering a narrow entrance to a basement parking lot. LESSON here is to LEARN, for one, proper backing up techniques. The keyword is LEARN. The situations/problems described in the foregoing posts can be avoided when drivers LEARN and ENJOY driving. There are plenty of 'LEARNING' materials out there. And most of them are free!

...TO 'LEARN' OR NOT TO 'LEARN' THAT IS THE QUESTION!....

By the way, overall inspite of these self-inflicted 'car wounds' as an ASIAN, and a FILIPINO, I can say I have been and still is a good driver. And I'm passing the skills and road 'wisdom'(naks!) to my family and friends. Salamat sa Diyos! They want and are eager to LEARN.
 

The statistician in me begs to point out that you are working with a non-random sample and so your results are meaningless.

This applies also to the article about the horrific traffic conditions during the Malaysian holiday cited in the article. However, it does speak to a need for localized education efforts towards localized behavior. Ever drive in Detroit, Auto City?

Trust me, if you have never driven in a city where the main street traffic speed limits are written as 40 and observed as 45 or 50 (not the side streets) then you have a new experience coming.

In the whole of the U.S., just by doing the simple division from the raw statistics in the National Transportation Data Book which logs deaths per mile by mode, auto, transit, you are 10 times more likely to die in an auto accident than on a bus or train. The cities in Malaysia would be well advised to reconsider how they fund transit, especially during their holiday season, to bring down this death toll.

In Chicago, on New Year's Eve, a very heavy drinking night. A local business fund has been set up so that after say 6 pm, rides are only a penny U.S.! How many lives that has saved is unknown, but a real factor.

Still, I found your family story funny.

There are people who tend to be accident prone in general, but these tend to be personal characteristics rather than racial ones.

In college, I knew a girl who was in something like 12 or 13 auto accidents, UNTIL she got a boyfriend who she eventually married. Mysteriously her tendency to drop silverware, trip on air, stumble down stairways, and crash her little Rabbit car slowed radically after meeting and falling for Bill, even after I caught then snookering in the kitchen and brought it to the attention to the rest of the frat during final business.

I think I complimented Bill (pre-med, now a fine Dr.) on rescuing her from choking with his tongue...

At any rate, NWJR is correct in thinking that listing individual accidents prove nothing, else why would the Darwin awards be so funny?

If they proved anything about Americans, we would all have killed or castrated ourselves by now...

I presume all the rest of you caucasions out there are working fine, right, right....?

Oh, the comedica writer is covered by the its OK to make fun of people like me rule of comedy folks, so lets drop the attacks on racism.

Which is why, as a mostly Irish-American, I am free to have an incredibly long post of Irish Jokes here:
The Peter Files Blog's Irish Jokes Post.


Does the fact that I don't bother to run many of my posts through spell checker say anything about Irish Caucasians, or humans?

Like your blog, wish it was easier to get around and find things.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
 

Darn it, skip that, it was just the big white space before I saw the previous post and archive thing.

If you edit some of that extra space out of your profile in the template section of Blogger, people find it easier to find them, or just change the headers' color code.

Before changing anything in a template of course, it is always a really good idea to copy it, save it as a text, or .txt file, so that if you corrupt it somehow you can just copy the original .txt file and paste it back into the template and save.

Peter, Chief Editor and Spell Wrecker
The Peter Files Blog of Comedy, Satire and Commentary
 

hmm.. try the roads in china...
 

My ex is a fillipino, and personally I like fillipinos, but they tend to be bad drivers in my experience. But, American fillipinos, 2nd generation or more tend to be average drivers, same as all asians.