Monday, February 13, 2006
Bitter Party
Welcome to Chez America. Tonight's menu is an acidic tribute to the joy of indigestion and irritable bowels brought on by the constant whining, bitching and kvetching of Americans.
Today's specials
appetizer: SUV and rotten egg on the half shell
salad: california sticky greens drizzled with tasteless pseudo-intelligent artist dressing
soup du jour: crotchety local bisque seasoned with a hearty dose of entitlement stewed in haight street hippie stock
Entree: overstuffed obnoxious .com filet sauteed in yuppee scum
And for dessert ..... a big dish of SHUT THE FUCK UP
if you don't like the people who live in this country, leave. It doesn't matter how long you've lived here or how much you feel these streets and buildings belong to you, this country IS the people who populate it. Accept it. The United States today is the .com yuppies plowing down bikers with their SUV's in cow hollow; it is the starving artists painting in dank live/work lofts; it is the horn-rimmed hipsters growing cross-eyed from looking down their noses at the rest of the world; it is the souped up, lowered car-driving asians in the sunset and richmond; it is the bandwagon-jumping post-candlestick giants fans; it is the people who have been here for 50 years and can't accept that change is inevitable. We are all Americans, and if you are unable to tolerate us there are countless other countries you can sample.
Today's specials
appetizer: SUV and rotten egg on the half shell
salad: california sticky greens drizzled with tasteless pseudo-intelligent artist dressing
soup du jour: crotchety local bisque seasoned with a hearty dose of entitlement stewed in haight street hippie stock
Entree: overstuffed obnoxious .com filet sauteed in yuppee scum
And for dessert ..... a big dish of SHUT THE FUCK UP
if you don't like the people who live in this country, leave. It doesn't matter how long you've lived here or how much you feel these streets and buildings belong to you, this country IS the people who populate it. Accept it. The United States today is the .com yuppies plowing down bikers with their SUV's in cow hollow; it is the starving artists painting in dank live/work lofts; it is the horn-rimmed hipsters growing cross-eyed from looking down their noses at the rest of the world; it is the souped up, lowered car-driving asians in the sunset and richmond; it is the bandwagon-jumping post-candlestick giants fans; it is the people who have been here for 50 years and can't accept that change is inevitable. We are all Americans, and if you are unable to tolerate us there are countless other countries you can sample.
Comments:
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yeah, okay, but isn't the united states also the constant yammering of people complaining about all the other people you mention? What would life be without them(us)? *sigh*
Here, here. For every right there is an associated duty. up/down. yin/yang. light/dark. Stop being idiots and cope.
gulp, i think i heart you. i'm new to this 'blogging thing', i was looking at one, then hit 'next blog' and yours popped up and 1 or 3 or 12 entries later here i am. thanks for blogging :)
Already took your advice.
Asians and Latins are the only ones I could tolerate there, so I moved to Germany.
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Asians and Latins are the only ones I could tolerate there, so I moved to Germany.
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