Jokes and Humor Online

Hello. I am a caretaker at the Zoo which basically means I clean the animals cages. Well the other day I was cleaning out one of the monkey's cages(name withheld) when he came up and started patting my crotch through my trousers. At first I thought this as harmless play, but soon I started becoming completely TURNED ON! With a visible hard-on the monkey then proceeded to run to the other side of the cage stand on top of a crate and spank his ass at me. What an incredible site! I am completeley heterosexual who loves the site of naked men, but this monkey made me feel the way no other man has. I was about to jump on top of him right then and there and have my way with him, but suddenly realized I was at the zoo. I am a fairly new employee there and am sure they have cameras plastered all over the place. In today's times, I am unwilling to sacrifice my job for a piece of monkey ass. For three days now I cannot get that monkey out of my head. I can't eat, sleep, or drink, (except alcohol which I make an exception) I have contacted several pet stores and have come to the realization that A) Good monkeys are very hard to find. B) I simply do not have the money to purchase a monkey at this time. Please help me. I am not a pervert and am a very well respected member of my community. I just need to get monkeys off my mind. Please be respectful and considerate. Send info/pix ASAP in the comments section.