Thursday, February 16, 2006

 

Got Monkeys?

Hello. I am a caretaker at the Zoo which basically means I clean the animals cages. Well the other day I was cleaning out one of the monkey's cages(name withheld) when he came up and started patting my crotch through my trousers. At first I thought this as harmless play, but soon I started becoming completely TURNED ON! With a visible hard-on the monkey then proceeded to run to the other side of the cage stand on top of a crate and spank his ass at me. What an incredible site! I am completeley heterosexual who loves the site of naked men, but this monkey made me feel the way no other man has. I was about to jump on top of him right then and there and have my way with him, but suddenly realized I was at the zoo. I am a fairly new employee there and am sure they have cameras plastered all over the place. In today's times, I am unwilling to sacrifice my job for a piece of monkey ass. For three days now I cannot get that monkey out of my head. I can't eat, sleep, or drink, (except alcohol which I make an exception) I have contacted several pet stores and have come to the realization that A) Good monkeys are very hard to find. B) I simply do not have the money to purchase a monkey at this time. Please help me. I am not a pervert and am a very well respected member of my community. I just need to get monkeys off my mind. Please be respectful and considerate. Send info/pix ASAP in the comments section.

Comments:
a)Good monkeys aren't hard to find-you already found one!

b)Just steal the monkey from work. This blog's gonna get you fired anyway.
 
um, your blog is called "Jokes and Humor Online" and this made up, grammar-challenged posting is neither a joke or humor. Well, I guess it is online, so you get credit for that. You're an idiot.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Who needs monkeys? Buy a flamingo instead.
Check out my writing!
 
Just spank your own monkey
 
Bubble monkeys fly by night!
 
YOU DON'T NEED A MONKEY- YOU NEED A PHYSICATRIST-YOU TWISTED FREAK..
 
I am surprised to see how far a human being (the finest of God's creations)can go to degrade himself for his bodily lust!!
 
I am surprised to see how you and all the other anonymous characters fail to read the keyword in the title of this blog, Jokes.
 
God help you. Animals deserve to b treated with dignity as a type of child with regards to humans.

WE have the obligation to care for them just as we care for our children.

You make me perfectly sick and I will wipe out your disgusting blog forever from my memory!

You make me ashamed of women. Where is your soul? It's not in heaven.
 
Reading other people's ridiculous comments is half the fun of this blog - what the hell is wrong with people?

God help you! I'm crying for your soul so riddled with beastial thoughts! Hahaha
 
I agree, reading the comments is half the fun.
 
Jesus guys give the guy a break..its simple fun..cmon..its awesome i think..:-)
 
ahhahaha!!!! funny shit! kudos.
 
Hmmm....sounds a *little* Brokeback Zoo to me...*giggle*
 
Heh, that's good.
 
fucken, hilarious man...kinda grose though






cats own!!!!!!!
monkeys drool...
 
by the way...im religous...why the hell do u have to cap on someone having fun go fuck satan.
 
i say best of luck! but mr. zoo caretaker, be careful and read the uncomfortable sex post and TURN OFF the "Weakest Link" show on tv; maybe in your case, cover up the parrot's cage or something!

hahahaha... awesomely hilarious!!
 
Man Oh man! I feel your pain! A quick thought though? Would having your way with the monkey constitute 'sexual harassment in the workplace'? As my fiance says - if your uncomfortable with a real monkey and what people will think, go down to the "Dog n Duck" and pick up a hairy bird. Thanks for the advice honey. Yes, you may have a banana...
 
i believe it's a good joke cos i'm laughin my tongue out lol... it's jus a joke so jus leave the guy alone... remember is a joke... his not tellin a real story here... man keep up the good work lol
 
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