Jokes and Humor Online

As for me I think there has to be a better way
for an adult to find a significant other today
I tried it , I admit I posted my note,
I got lots of answers from hordes of men who wrote
great winsome emails that made me grin.
but that was before reality set in.

So do me a favor and spare me the poems
and half baked attempts at palindromes
and all those testaments that you’re 50 but look 35
when you, I, and your mirror know it’s a blatant lie.

I have nothing against bald men who make passes
it’s the fact that you pretend that you aren’t that makes me gaseous.
no you don’t live at home with mom any more
but shucks, you just happen to live right next door.
And when I said I was looking for a little romance
I didn’t mean send me pictures of you sans pants.
And while we’re at it, I was more than amused
the measurements were interesting but what did you use?
did you measure yourself, in which case bravo
or did you just guess in which case ho ho…..

And yes, I meant no married men.
I don’t care that you can’t remember when
the last time it was you made love to your wife
if that’s really true, you should get a new life.
but just so you know that's a very old line,
every single woman knows that cheating whine.

I’m not perfect, don’t get me wrong,
but I’ve been honest all along.
I said I was old, with brown hair and brown eyes
so why on earth were you surprised ?
some of you said you preferred blond hair,
and others wanted some one 22 and fair
what did you think I was lying like you ?
Damn, everything I said was true.
Perhaps you just skimmed my short note
but I am just what I wrote.
and yes I get horny too
but I think the batteries will just have to do..