Monday, March 20, 2006

 

For Trade: My Breasts For Yours

Yes, I have large breasts. Not excessively huge, but big, nonetheless. "A fine rack," you may say. "Big hooters." "Baywatch material." "Nicely stacked." "Melons." "Lovely grapefruits." Or my favorite, "TORPEDOES!" Feh.

The fact is, I hate them. Loathe and detest. Despise. I want them off my body and gone! Not only do they give me backaches, but I can't sleep on my stomach. I find it hard to kiss someone, as there's always this "mass" between us. Sex is a bitch. I can no longer jog. My cat actually WALKS down out of the window onto my lap by way of my breasts! Unfortunately, I don't have much lap left. I have a hard time buttoning shirts, since those two buttons at chest-level are stretched tight and constantly break off and the rest are loose. I often find leftovers lingering there. And odd things, like leaves and Post-It notes.

Yeah, you're probably laughing at this point, but it's really NOT FUNNY! (Well, not unless you laugh at the fact that I actually have a T-shirt that my left nipple has *rubbed a hole in* -- not unlike the way guys pumice their jeans to make their dick look bigger and burlier, like it actually wore through their trousers and is about to chase you down the street. I'm not talking a white, faded spot, though; I'm talking an *actual* HOLE in my T-shirt! You know, so my nipple can look out and see the world (and perhaps chase you down the street), thus mocking me even more.)

Guys, how would you like to have balls so big that you couldn't lay on your stomach or see your shoes when standing? Or jog? Or hug someone without them jutting into the other person, forcing you to lean over or else stand several inches away. Wait, stupid question, why did I ask? Forget I said that.

Girls with small(er) breasts, you don't know how lucky you are! Why in the hell would you want to *increase* the size of them?!? Especially with some gelatinous unknown substance in a plastic baggie, blech! Wait, stupid question. Forget I said that. But that's the reason I'm here!

I want to trade my large breasts for your smaller ones! Mine are pasty white, but I don't really care what color yours are, as long as they're comfortable and I can sleep face-down... and reclaim my lap. No reasonable offer refused.

E-mail me now, if you would like to swap.

Comments:
Wonderful rant. I've heard this from girls I've known with large breasts as well. As a guy who likes breasts I have to say, um, well... I guess I'm a pigheaded male... I am ashamed.

Anyways the large balls got me thinking. A guy would hate that. But a dick that hangs down past his knees he would love, yet still complain about. Strange how somethings can be attractive yet not useful for why they are attractive. (Painful sex, Problems kissing people, etc.)

A few friends of mine have gone through breast reduction. You may want to look into it. They almost always choose to drop to about a C cup if possible. Just an idea.
 
My step daugter has the same problem and complaints. I went to college with a girl many years ago with the same situation and she had a reduction her senior year. she was elated. best of luck!
 
One and only way breast reduction which they have told you,
instead of cribbing try this
and work out instead of being at home
 
I'm hearin' you ! Never had the problem myself....but I'm hearin' you
 
Please come and make a posting on my blog
I don't have any friends and would really appreicayte it if you would make my site popular.

Thanks Mark

my website is http://therealmark.blogspot.com/
 
Right on Sista. I got big titties too and I feel much the same way. By the way, has anyone who has suggested a reduction offered to send you some $$$. That's the other bitch isn't it. You get charged an arm and a leg to get rid of them!
 
Well, my balls are HUGE - I just learned to deal with it. Oh...I just reread that...you probably weren't talking about eyeballs...
 
aww...and my breasts are almost misquito bites...actualy maybe a little bigger, depending on what angle you look.

i don't know if i would trade my own...but maybe we could work a happy medium...
 
I know someone that would be very happy to have them, but i understand you.
 
nice website you should check out mine i think you will like it just type in keithheimericks at the blogger home page
 
oh god that sounds like a real pain - poor you. i have one word. surgery!
 
Unfortunately, being an avid fan of the female body, I cannot offer my sympathy, only my best wishes to taking care of your situation. Good luck.
 
Humans have never been satisfied with what they have. People with black hair, want to be blond. White people, want to tan their skin. People with big bass voices, want to sing tenor. Ladies with small breasts, want to enlarge their breasts, etc, etc.

This is just human nature.

Little's Blog Things
 
Honest lee horrible is correct I would love having a dick that hung down more than an inch.
As for breast, I like all size of breast, little ones, small ones, and bigger ones as well.

It is really small!
 
As a guy i cant really relate to that situation, but my advice is be happy with you self i am a fan of larger breasts and so are most guys. Not that that really matters. I suggest you be happy with what you got you could be like shabudabu and they wouldnt even be noticeable. I think everyone should just live with what they have and be happy, cause no matter what someone has it worse than you.
 
If you wanna trade, I'll have to see them first.
 
As a small breasted (B cup-barely) woman I have wanted larger breasts up until I started listening to my mother and sister complaining about their quite large chests (I was the jipped one in the family). I think no woman is happy with her breasts unless she actually has them surgically altered to perfection. But that just seems like a waste of money. Love your blog!
 
LOL! Great post. Too bad we can't just love each other for who we are and not for the size of parts of our anatomies. Beauty fades and then what do you have?
 
Hey GUYS... Check out what these wonderful babes with bountiful breasts are complaingin about... Go to the bank and buy 6 rolls of quarters, then put 3 rolls into each shirt pocket (be sure to wear a shirt with a pocket over each breast). After an hour or so, you'll be wanting to take the quraters out of those pockets. I challenge you to see how much of a MAN you really are, and see if you can keep them in your pockets for a full day and NOT COMPLAIN about how much your back bothers you. These women don't really have much of a choice but to put up with it for YEARS & YEARS... I enjoy EVERY size of breast I can attach my lips to...

Speaking of SIZE... Most women say that SIZE (Penis) doesn't matter... I've also heard from others that say SIZE IS EVERYTHING... Then I examine where the information is comming from in both cases.... Those that say sixe doesn't matter are usually from those that haven't experienced too many different sizes... Those that say size means EVERYTHING are usually from BBW's that NEED that extra length to know that it's actually IN her... I am of average size and have had all sizes of women as sex partners... I have been able to please all of them with other skills I had learned over the years... There were a few times that she would make a remark at the beginning of the session about the size, but was still fulfilled and very happy at the end of the session... a couple of them found out that even tho it's not 8, 9, 10, 11, or 12 inches long, it's STILL long enough to do the job it was made to do - IMPREGNATE her!!! My Cock may not be the Luxury Model... It's just a beat up, old clunker that cums with a very hi-tech computer attached that is attuned to seeing that she get's HER PLEASURE FIRST!!!

Gotta get now...

Huggs & Kisses,
Nibbles, & Licks...

gimmesometime@yahoo.com
 
I had a funny encounter with my apparently perfect sized breasts... a medium to small b cup... a woman came up to me.. looking at my chest and said.. WHAT size bra do you wear?? I told her a 36 B... she says..that's perfect!!! I want a breast reduction and my doctor said to find someones' breasts you like and ask them what size they are...

Up until then I thought I was too small... but.. also at 46... mine don't sag a bit.. so... I have to admit... it's not to bad adeal.
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! so LOSER!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
 
I'm an ass guy myself, don't care for big breasts. Good luck.
 
Maybe you are interested in this site.

Small Breasts, does size really matter?

I wish you´ll like it and it´ll be useful for you. Regards.
 
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